Feeling significant in life is one of our basic human needs. Tony Robbins says we have 6 basic needs: Certainty, uncertainty, significance (being heard and seen), connection, growth and contribution. We all put that list in our own special order, but if you have significance as one of your top two, it can cause all kinds of problems in your life. If you are feeling unheard and unseen, how important is it to you to change it around? Is it one of your top two? If so, then here is what you must do.
Feeling Unheard and Unseen?
1 – Don’t Let The Need For Feeling Significant Dominate Your Life
When you do this, you neglect other areas of your life that are just as important. You can’t focus on true connections with other people, or contribute, live in certainty, etc. if you are always seeking to be heard and seen. Doing so, means you are constantly in competition with something. It’s draining.
Instead, focus internally. Work on improving your self-love and confidence. When you continually work on yourself and do for yourself, it diminishes the need to be heard and seen from others. How freeing! You are less likely to care what others think, you won’t worry about criticism, and you can be yourself.
2 – Get To The Root Of The Issue
Feeling unheard and unseen is caused by something. At first glance, you may think it’s your spouse’s fault because they are not paying attention to you, or your boss because you do not get recognized for your hard work, or your parent’s fault because they never seem to see all the good in you. That’s not the root cause. There is a limiting belief under the surface that you must get to the bottom of. Find out what it is, and start changing things around.
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3 – Show Appreciation and Kindness To Others If You Feel Unheard and Unseen
If you are feeling unheard and unseen, focus on doing things for others. Doing this will instantly help you meet your need to feel significant. Remember, it’s okay to want to feel significant, it’s just the degree at which you seek it. Show gratitude for the people in your life. Tell them how important they are, or how you like the things that they do. It will always come back to you. I always say, give what you want. If you want money, give money. Want love? Give love. If you want to be seen and heard, then see and hear others. Be a blessing in other people’s lives.
Here are some ways to show appreciation to others:
- Always say, “Please,” and “Thank you,” with sincerity.
- Pay it forward.
- Be there to listen instead of giving advice.
- Bring a cup of coffee to a co-worker.
- Give out plenty of authentic compliments.
- Take a friend to lunch.
- Bring the office some donuts.
If feeling unheard and unseen throws your life off-balance, try these steps. Do not let the need to feel significant dominate your life, get to the root of the issue, and, show appreciation to others. It’s okay to seek significance as long as it doesn’t consume your life.
Why is feeling heard and seen important to you? Let us know in the comments below.