Being able to accept yourself unconditionally doesn’t mean that you are perfect. As a matter of fact, it means the opposite. It means accepting yourself despite your flaws. This, however, is a struggle for many of us. We tend to focus on our failures and shortcomings so much that it’s almost impossible to accept who we are fully. We judge ourselves for not being up to par. This needs to change. We must treat ourselves with respect, tolerance, and kindness. Here are some strategies to do so.
Strategies For Unconditional Self-Acceptance
1. Stop The Negative Self-Talk to Accept Yourself Unconditionally
First off, stop talking to yourself in a negative way. I know many people who constantly abuse themselves verbally. “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve anything good,” “I’m too flawed,” are some examples of what I hear. It’s one thing to think these things because we can’t always control our thoughts, but it’s another to speak them out loud. Words are powerful. The more you speak them out loud, the more you believe them to be true, and the more likely they will end up becoming your reality. Show yourself some respect and learn to accept yourself unconditionally by squashing the negative self-talk. Make a promise to yourself right now that you will never say anything negative about yourself out loud.
2. Focus More On Your Strengths Than On Your Weaknesses
I bet if I were to ask you what your weaknesses and insecurities are you could list a ton of them off immediately, but if I asked you to list off your strengths you’d probably list one or two before you started to hesitate and fumble. Why is this? Is it because we have more weaknesses than strengths? You’d probably say yes but this is absolutely false. You have more strengths than weaknesses. You may fail to realize this because you are more versed in your shortcomings than you are in your strengths. This needs to change.
Learn to accept yourself unconditionally by focusing more on your strengths every day than you do on your weaknesses. Make a list of all of your strengths, no matter how small. Take your time with this task. Then whittle the list until you have your top 10 strengths. Carry this list with you and memorize it. Review it every morning and whenever you need a reminder of how awesome you are. When someone asks you what your strengths are, you should be able to list them off immediately without hesitation. Stop giving your weaknesses and shortcomings your full attention and spend more time putting your strengths center stage.
3. Forgive Yourself and Let Go Of The Past
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” – Dalai Lama
Guess what? You are not perfect and no one is. You can do nothing about the past, so learn to forgive yourself today for your mistakes and forgive others for their mess-ups as well. You are a different person today. A more wise person. A great way to forgive your past self is to write a letter to them. Sit down and write about how you forgive that person and how you have used their actions and experiences to become a better person today. Our mistakes and our past are our greatest teachers. Without them, we’d still be stuck and wouldn’t have progressed as much as we have. As crazy as it sounds, be thankful for your mess-ups because if they didn’t happen then, they would probably happen now. Accept yourself unconditionally by shifting your perspective on your mistakes. Forgive yourself and let go.
4. Accept Yourself Unconditionally By Watching The Company You Keep
It’s difficult to accept yourself if you spend your time around others who do not accept you fully. Stop spending time with those who make you feel less than, and spend more time with people who make you feel special. This is really important because when we aren’t feeling particularly happy with who we are, our company can reinforce how awesome we are. We need to be around people who lift us up when we need it instead of around people who kick us while we are down. Show yourself some love and respect by making a commitment to cut out people from your life who are toxic.
5. Work On Personal Improvement
Accepting yourself unconditionally doesn’t mean you should just be completely happy with the way things are. If there are things that you can work on, then work on them. Make personal improvement a priority. What things do you need to work on? What goals do you have? How would you feel if you accomplished them? Chances are you’d feel better about yourself right? Do something every day to work on personal improvement. Read personal development articles and get up earlier to work out for example. Click here for more ways to prioritize personal improvement.
6. Squash Your Negative Thoughts To Accept Yourself Unconditionally
We can’t help what we think sometimes but we can challenge them and take away our negative thought’s power. Positive affirmations are a great way to do this. When something negative about yourself pops into your mind, say the opposite either out loud or internally. Here are some examples:
- “I never seem to do anything right.”
- “I am capable of achieving anything I want.”
- “I’ll never get through this difficult time.”
- “My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless and my potential to succeed is infinite.”
- “I’m not good enough to find love.”
- “I welcome love and romance in my life.”
Even if you do not believe your affirmation at first, say it anyway. Affirmations are powerful because they begin to rewire your mind to believe in them. Once you believe in them, they will start manifesting for you.
Learn to accept yourself unconditionally by stopping the negative self-talk. You can also spend more time focused on your strengths than you do on your weaknesses. Remember to carry your strengths list around with you. Self-acceptance will also come from forgiving yourself for past mistakes and being very picky about who you spend your time with. Also, work on personal improvement on a daily basis and do something to move towards your goals. Finally, squash your negative thoughts by using the power of affirmations.
If you could learn to accept yourself, how would your life change? Let us know in the comments below.